5 things I've learned after 5 years of marriage / by Alexandria Whitefeather

Last month B and I celebrated our anniversary. I can't believe we've been married 5 years already, because it honestly doesn't feel like it. Time flies, but I'm beyond thankful I get to fly through life with him. 

Now, I'm no expert on marriage and I know being married 5 years isn't crazy, but with any relationship (and friendship) there are things you learn on the journey. 

So here are 5 things I've learned after 5 years of marriage:

5 year anniversary

1. Spend the time
B and I don't always have a ton of time to spend with each other, so how we spend it matters. Between work and school and family and friends, time can be hard to come by... so making sure our relationship is at the top of the list is so important. And like many things in life, it's about quality over quantity. 

5 year anniversary

2. Communicate.
This one is pretty obvious right? Don't stuff things. Get them out. Work them out, and come out the other side stronger. You don't have to agree on everything, but what you don't agree on should be worked through. 

3. Compromise.
Which brings me to.... compromise. No one wants to think they'll have to do it, but they will. And will need to do it in love. Being bitter is for miserable people. And you don't want to be a miserable person, do you? 

5 year anniversary

4. You CAN go to bed angry.
Despite the popular "never go to bed angry" quote that every bride will indeed hear before (and after) she gets married. I disagree. Now, this thought process could heavily depend on personalities, but for us? Sometimes it's late, and the argument isn't getting anywhere, and you're tired, and you know what? You should just go to bed. Have a little grace on each other and agree to get some sleep. Because you know what else? it will all look better in the morning. And you may even wake up realizing you were arguing over nothing! (um, what a waste of energy) And if you were arguing over something, you'll at least be rested, and the smart remarks *raises hand in guilt* will be less likely. ;)

5. Date each other. 
Explore somewhere new. Go on hot dates. Plan a trip. Or even just go to the grocery store together! Whatever dating is to you, do it! I'm not sure why some people stop dating, but the whole point of "dating" is finding that someone you want to do it forever with, not get married and be all "mission accomplished" because that's definitely not the point and because... how boring!!!  

5 year anniversary

So there you have it. 5 things I've learned over the past 5 years. 

Photography by the lovely Lily Kweon.

Have a beautiful weekend!