"College Life" Recap + New Things!!!

My daughter was just a little one year old and I was mostly a stay at home mom doing photography part time. My husband, B was the provider. We had a beautiful place to call home, and I really liked it. I was comfortable... 

One day B brought up the idea of going back to school full time. He had always wanted to finish his engineering degree and after having Mila it was a burning desire for him. But going to school full time meant he wouldn't be working, and my first thought was: WHOA. But I knew this was something that meant a lot to him and I wanted him to go after it. 

"what do we have to do?" I asked.... "well campus is an hour away, and I think we'll have to sell the house." 

Whoa.

It took me by surprise. This was our house for 6 years after all, we were settled there and it truly felt like home. But selling it also made total sense.

We took a drive down to the university campus and toured the "family housing home model" (ehh that's a stretch). With B not working and me still wanting to stay with Mila as much as possible. We were going to have to downsize our expenses (so that we weren't stressed!) and I was going to work more. 

Walking throughout the house was rough. I had major anxiety. There was a dark tint on all the windows (umm why), very little natural light, linoleum floors, super low ceilings, and a very vintage kitchen (not the good kind of vintage you guys). - the "model" ladies and gentlemen.

I almost feel embarrassed to admit this... but on the way home I cried. I cried a lot. And also came to a moment of self acceptance for being a total lighting snob. B felt bad and tried figuring out other options, but I knew in my heart that all paths were leading us here. To this place. To get uncomfortable. And to take a risk. 

We soon put our home up for sale and it sold in less then 4 days. There was no time to overthink things and there was no looking back. As hard as it was to say goodbye to the place that we called home, I knew it wasn't meant for us anymore. It wasn't OUR home anymore and I had an overflowing sense of peace even though the future was so uncertain. 

So here we are two years later. B fresh from graduation, and our family about to grow from 3 to 4. Somehow, even with all the sacrifices these last two years have required, they've been some of the happiest and most beautiful of my whole life. Even with the lack of windows. ;)

With B not working we had TIME. We could do little things like go grocery shopping as a family. We could take a day and go to the art museum. We could road trip last minute. We had TIME. And it was (and is) so precious.

When I would work B was able to spend quality time with his daughter and develop (what is to me) the most beautiful father-daughter relationship I have ever witnessed and I could literally cry thinking about it (actually, nope. I'm definitely crying). Our bonds are even stronger: and our love, completely unbreakable. 

Now our "college life" is coming to a close and we're currently working out the details of our next steps, but to be honest I'm not even going to try and figure out what the future has in store. It has a way of always keeping us on our toes and I'm okay with that. I hope to update you all soon! 

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ALSO, This will be the LAST blog post here on my AW site! Check out the journals NEW HOME here! I've been slowly working on something a little different and will share more soon! Be sure to subscribe and stay in the know!

My word for 2017... an update | + my 2018 goals

Last January I shared with you my word for 2017... Fearless. This was my first year ever doing this and I said I'd give an update, so here it is! 

Now this word definitely affected my year, but not in the way I ever thought. It of course reminded me to try things even if they seemed scary, but it also inspired me to work on a side project that I had been thinking about for a while but NEVER thought I'd actually do. A project that has NOTHING to do with photography *gasp*. I know that's pretty vague, but that's all I'll be getting into on that, for now. 

Overall, I felt having a word for 2017 to be a fun and simple way to give the year focus. Although I'm not sure it to be necessary to actually achieve your goals. I personally like to reevaluate goals quarterly (if not monthly) to stay on track. 

This year I've set a few intentions, but am honestly keeping goals simple. We're expecting a baby in June, so that will be a big focus for us as we adjust to life as a family of four! Whaaaa?!

A few goals for 2018:

+ Simplify - stuff, food, organization, everything.

+ Practice Gratitude - this is something I already do, but I'd like to take it to the next level by journaling daily. 

+ Read More - I was never much of a reader, or so I convinced myself. But after finishing a book the first week of this year (a speed record for me for sure!), I'm inspired to keep going. 

+ Outsource - Besides having assistants on jobs, I'm pretty much a one woman show. I'd like to learn to let go of some tasks that I know can be done really well by someone else. (aka: stop being such a control freak;) And with baby #2 on the way it's a good time to start letting go. 

+ Self Care - develop a simple self care routine for mind, body, and soul.

p.s. Sorry I've been MIA! Pregnancy is kicking my butt this time around. But the morning sickness is finally lightning up. FINALLY!! 
I have lots of work to share from last year, and will do so here in a bit!

Wishing you a beautiful 2018! 

What are your methods for tracking and achieving goals?
I'd love to hear!

Another year older...

I celebrated my birthday over Labor Day weekend, and gosh it sure seems like the years are going by faster and faster.

As crazy as this last year was, I've actually had more headspace to really think on what I want to do more of, and work on in this next year of life.

A few things:

Shoot more personal work. 
When I'm shooting during the week it's almost always for a job. I'd love to create more photographs just for the heck of it! 

Music.
Start playing the piano again. Even if it's just once a week. 

Hobbies.
I really love to paint. I'm no pro (it's mostly just moody sketches), but it's nice to work on something creative, just for fun, and that's out of my normal photography zone. 

And finally,
That one really crazy dream. 
A dream that (for me) is the scariest thing, and something I NEVER (ever ever) thought I'd do. It's currently in the works, and I'll hopefully share more on it soon!

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A few snaps from a low key birthday weekend up north. It was filled with family, cooler weather, antique shopping, and probably too many baked goods (if there ever was such a thing). 

5 things I've learned after 5 years of marriage

Last month B and I celebrated our anniversary. I can't believe we've been married 5 years already, because it honestly doesn't feel like it. Time flies, but I'm beyond thankful I get to fly through life with him. 

Now, I'm no expert on marriage and I know being married 5 years isn't crazy, but with any relationship (and friendship) there are things you learn on the journey. 

So here are 5 things I've learned after 5 years of marriage:

1. Spend the time
B and I don't always have a ton of time to spend with each other, so how we spend it matters. Between work and school and family and friends, time can be hard to come by... so making sure our relationship is at the top of the list is so important. And like many things in life, it's about quality over quantity. 

2. Communicate.
This one is pretty obvious right? Don't stuff things. Get them out. Work them out, and come out the other side stronger. You don't have to agree on everything, but what you don't agree on should be worked through. 

3. Compromise.
Which brings me to.... compromise. No one wants to think they'll have to do it, but they will. And will need to do it in love. Being bitter is for miserable people. And you don't want to be a miserable person, do you? 

4. You CAN go to bed angry.
Despite the popular "never go to bed angry" quote that every bride will indeed hear before (and after) she gets married. I disagree. Now, this thought process could heavily depend on personalities, but for us? Sometimes it's late, and the argument isn't getting anywhere, and you're tired, and you know what? You should just go to bed. Have a little grace on each other and agree to get some sleep. Because you know what else? it will all look better in the morning. And you may even wake up realizing you were arguing over nothing! (um, what a waste of energy) And if you were arguing over something, you'll at least be rested, and the smart remarks *raises hand in guilt* will be less likely. ;)

5. Date each other. 
Explore somewhere new. Go on hot dates. Plan a trip. Or even just go to the grocery store together! Whatever dating is to you, do it! I'm not sure why some people stop dating, but the whole point of "dating" is finding that someone you want to do it forever with, not get married and be all "mission accomplished" because that's definitely not the point and because... how boring!!!  

So there you have it. 5 things I've learned over the past 5 years. 

Photography by the lovely Lily Kweon.

Have a beautiful weekend!

xo

Mila at Sea

I'm currently working on a little review of our cruise experience (should be up next week!), but today I thought I'd share some snaps I took of Mila on the boat. I found this sailor dress the week before our trip and had to get it. I mean, she was going to meet the captain after all so why not dress for the occasion? (so "mom" of me, I know.) 

We went out on the deck right as the sun was sinking into the pacific. I wanted to get some nice portraits of her, but she was too excited, yelling "HI, OCEAN!!!" and was running around in circles. It was also pretty dang cold. So cold, we only lasted like 5 minutes. Maybe 10. Even still, these moments stuck with me. Maybe it was seeing Mila's face of pure joy, or seeing her handsome daddy all dressed up, or that being on the ocean at sunset is magical in itself. These pictures, as blurry and grainy as they are, are so beautiful to me mostly because of the memories they contain.

I'm really thankful to be her mama. 

Upon meeting the captain Buddy told Mila to say " Aye Aye captain", so I think our absolute favorite moment of the trip was when she walked up to the captain and greeted him with a very confident "Hi Hi captain!!". That will forever make me laugh. 

Have a beautiful week, friends!

xo

You & Me

We were on a little road trip driving towards home. I looked over at B and couldn't help but feel lucky. Even though life can throw the weirdest curve balls, and things don't always go as planned, I get to have him by my side. 

Here are some words that ran though my head during our drive, and some blurry pictures too. 
Maybe it's all of the Dr. Suess books I'm reading these days... because honestly, I haven't written a poem (if that's what you call this?) since that one literature assignment in middle school. 

I'm not sure why I decided to share this. Maybe it's because we celebrated our anniversary last week and I'm feelin' extra mushy? Or maybe it's because I feel like the world needs to share a little more love? Either way, I hope you didn't mind all the extra cheese in todays post. I'll be back to the normal amount next week. Promise.  

Have a beautiful week friends.  

xo

5 Generations

So, I still haven't taken Milas 2 year old pictures. My goal is to photograph her before the end of the month (fingers crossed). Hey, as long as I capture her while she's still technically 24 months it counts, right? The truth is, life is busy sometimes, and other times... it's not exactly the best time of day (like say, 10pm). 

Right around Mila's birthday I started going through pictures and videos. I opened up all of my "Mila" folders and reminisced (and maybe shed a few happy tears). I did this around her first birthday as well.... I suppose I'll just go ahead and accept the fact that I'll probably do it every year for the rest of my life.

When I came across these photographs, I looked at them a little longer than the rest. Mila had just turned 4 months and the lovely lady holding her is her great-great grandmother (we call her Omi) and I felt beyond lucky to have had the honor of capturing the two of them together. 

I also made my mom get in a frame. I thought having one of her with her grandmother and her granddaughter would be pretty cool:)

I'm thankful to my husband for having me jump in as well, and for taking this picture (below). At the time I remember thinking "eww, I look gross. My hair is still wet from my shower... and I still need to lose like 10 more pounds of baby weight... blah blah blah".  

Now seeing this, I realize how unimportant all of those thoughts were. One day when Mila is older she'll be able to have a photo of her, her mother, her grandmother, and her great-great grandmother. And that is amazing. My Omi (my mothers mom) passed away, but I know she was with us there in spirit. 

If you can take one thing away from this mushy post, take this...
If you have the privilege of being able to take a photo with a loved one, do it. Always do it. No one cares what your hair looks like, or that you're not wearing any make-up, or that you feel chubby. They care about capturing a memory with you, and having that memory to look back on forever. 

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In loving memory of my Omi, Ellen. (pregnant with my Aunt and holding my mom as a baby)

side note: I wore those earrings on my wedding day to have a piece of her with me. She is so loved and truly missed.

Take some time to squeeze your loved ones this weekend!
(Maybe even try to get a picture with them too! ;)

xo

There Are No Rules

This summer has been fun, busy, and a little crazy. We sold our house, moved across town, traveled to see family and friends, and are just now (finally!) trying to get settled into our little rental. 

Recently, I've gone back and forth on keeping this blog strictly about my work or sharing some personal posts as well. Up till now I had only blogged about photo shoots and "behind the scenes" stuff, and since I had taken time away from work over the summer (with all the craziness), blogging definitely went on the back burner. 
I asked for friends opinions, and even googled what the "right" thing to do was. what's better for my business? or my time? should I have separate blogs? does it even matter? blah blah blah... and even though my friends loved the idea of combining the two, I still felt just as lost with all the research as I did before hand (Google can do that sometimes).

but then I realized...

THERE ARE NO RULES.

It's funny that the idea of what something is supposed to be can limit our thinking. We put someone else's standards on ourselves, all for an idea we weren't actually sure about to begin with. 

So, I'm going with gut over google and decided that along with sharing my work, I'll also be sharing more personal thoughts and experiences about photography, business, inspiration, and home life. My goal with this is to be more open and honest and helpful. 

Stay tuned! And also, stay true to yourself. (too cheesy?? MmmK.) 

UPDATE: I've moved the journal over HERE!

           (one of the last photos taken in our house before it sold)